ok so i met a guy last week.  and he's a great musician and like he's a star.  well not like a famous person on tv or anything but a lot of people know about him and love his music.  so i saw him last week and i knew it was him from the moment i saw him, but me never knowing what to do or what to say walked up to him and asked him if he was who i thought he was.  ok i never give out real names on here so im going to call him Mr Guitar.  ok dont make of that, its the only thing i could think of... so i go up to him and im like "Are you Mr Guitar?"  and he was like "umm yeah"  and then im like "i...i...i... love your song..."  i cant tell you the song either because that'll give it away.  and he was like "awww how sweet you just made my day" so he gave me a hug and then i got to take a picture with him.  i hope he never finds this because he'll know its him.  well anyway he's so down to earth and sweet.  and i dont know i think he's cute even though my sister said he looked like a nerd.  i dont care what she says because when i wear my glasses i look like a nerd too.  and i thought he was older than me but he's the same age as me and he lives in the same city as me.  isn't that great news?  do you get where im going with this?  there was something magical about that hug and know its like theres a spell thats been casted on me.  i like him and i must be crazy because i even wrote a song about him.

Anyway, people around me know that I was extremely bummed not to be able to go to Mount Hermon this year.  I was like beating myself up about it.  I once asked God to use me in every opportunity there was so when I wasn't able to cabin lead this year I was a bit confused because I thought God wanted me to be there to serve.  However, God has been using me back home.  If you don't know, I've been serving through Children's Ministry at CBC this past school year and I still am so I help out with Sunday School, but I didn't feel like I was doing enough.  I felt this constant tugging to do more.  God wanted me to impact more people's lives.  A few weeks ago I asked my cousin Brandon for an application to serve through Youth Ministry.  By the way, Brandon is in charged of youth group at CBC.  This is the direction has been pulling toward for years.  I'll get to that story right after this.  Okay back to the story  Anyway, there weren't many youth leaders the Friday all the Mount Hermon staff left so that was the first time I worked with the youth.  I had two Jr High girls in my discussion group and to tell you the truth, that night I felt something I've never felt before.  I truly felt God's presence; I don't mean that I've never felt it before, but this time His presence was stronger and He was reaching down into a part of my heart that I never knew I had.  God was opening me up and that is exactly what I wrote down as my weakness and what I would need training or help in when I filled out the application.  I'm an introvert; I have problems trusting others and opening up to them, but as a leader, it's important to be able to open up to those who you are leading.  The whole week following that Friday, I felt God tugging at my heart.  Those girls need more direction; God kept telling me that they needed to be discipled and that being a part of youth ministry was not all He had planned.  God slowly revealed more and more to me.  I need to get to know them one on one and find where they struggle the most in their faith.  I know that I am not this perfect Christian, but God is molding me into a better person so I can be a role model to the youth.  Then this past Friday, they got into discussion groups again so I decided to take the lead and facillitate the Jr High girls' discussion and give them a bit more insight about the Nooma film we watched and the message it was trying to get across.  During worship right after the discussion, I prayed and asked God to set my heart in the right place and give me direction.  I was just sitting there with my head bowed while worship was going on and tears started flowing from my eyes.  I normally don't cry when I pray so I knew that what I was praying wasn't just thrown together by my ever wandering brain, but that it was truly genuine.  There is something there; God is using me and He drawing me toward those Jr High girls.  There are a few specific ones that God wants me to reach out to and I plan on doing what He is telling me to do.

I'll save the rest for later, maybe tomorrow when I'm bored at work.